When I make cups of tea, You won’t get a teabag to yourself. You will get my leftover teabag, So your tea will contain almost no caffeine, Because I will have taken it And I will intentionally over brew Your second hand tea, So that it is dark And unpleasantly tannin-y Seeing you wince after […]


Once I get it it’s strange as I imagine this is what being hypnotised might feel like. This cold weather makes it worse. Of course. I am glad I came. I told you before This would be the route we were going to be taking. I surprise myself when I talk about stuff and remember […]

Three Questions

Ruth: Question 1) What do you want to be when you grow up? Lucy: Braver. I want to be fearless, like a mighty Amazonian, or perhaps Boudicca. I sometimes think I don’t stand up for myself enough. Alternatively, a labrador. They always look like they’re having such a good time. Ruth: Question 2) Scenario – […]

How I Fell In Love With Poetry

I haven’t been posting lately. I wrote a poetry show, though. Seriously! A whole show, with words, and poems, and feminist theory and a song at the end and EVERYTHING. I mean, it’s not done yet, obviously, but it’s a solid, recognisable first draft. I am thrilled. Also surprised. I did an MA in Writing, […]

Barely Bullingdon

I did a really nice gig last night. They were lovely. I’m glad I put on a dress for them. They put me on in the second half, which is a compliment and nicer to perform, and gave me a bit of cake. The most I’ve EVER been paid to perform is a glass of […]