This Happens Every Month

I just woke up and thought I’d gone blind.

I’ve had really bad eyesight since I was about 10, but for the last year I’ve had these AWESOME contact lenses. They make the world look like it was shot in HD. So good. Also, they are extended wear, so I just put them in and leave them there for 30 days, sleeping and everything. It’s like being able to actually see. But I inevitably forget I’m meant to take them out, leave them in for too long and only notice when I close my eyes to sleep and they feel like they’ve been dipped in chillies. So I gouge them out and fling them across the room petulantly, and then fall asleep and forget.

So of course, the next morning, I spend a good five minutes stumbling about like a pyjamaed mole, bleating “why can’t I seeeeeeeeeee anything? I’ve gone bliiiiiiind. I’ve probably got a braaaaaain tumor.” and then I realise, I haven’t gone blind. I was always blind. This moment, of a dream of perfect vision lost, is the most upsetting of the whole chain of events.

Every. Single. Month.

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