Breakfast is totally rubbish, isn’t it? The shittest of all the meals. Who wants to get up extra early in the morning and try to eat cereal (SO BORING) or toast (SO BORING unless you put nutella on it) while stumbling around in the near dark trying to decide if you can style out leggings and a hoodie dress as “business casual”? Nobody does. Stay in bed! You can eat later and sleep can only happen now.
Except, except. If you follow this path, your breakfast will always be 6 chocolate digestives, wolfed down at 9:52 while frantically trying to finish off an array of disappointing sales reports for your morning meeting. After a couple of weeks of this, you will start to associate the taste of biscuits with powerpoint presentations. The very smell of them will make ghostly word art dance before your eyes. You will stop eating biscuits entirely, and I won’t let that happen to you. I won’t.
Try this instead. It tastes quite luxury and, because you prep it all the night before, past you will have made present you breakfast! Fancy that! All she normally gives you are hangovers and inappropriate ebay purchases.
You will need –
A jam jar (to fit however much breakfast melba you’d like to make – preferably pretty tightly)
Porridge oats (you know how many you want. I want 35g)
A peach flavour yoghurt
1. In the evening, when you’re meant to be doing the washing up, take your jam jar and splurge about a third of your yoghurt in. Add a few (5?) raspberries and half your oats. Shake it to level it out.
2. Repeat – A third of the yoghurt, some raspberries, the other half of the oats, a little shake.
3. Chuck in your remaining yoghurt, making sure you don’t have any oats sticking up out of it. Poke a final handful of raspberries on top, not worrying about them getting squished by the lid. It should look a bit like this –
4. Put the lid back on and stick in the fridge overnight. The following morning, eat smugly while your partner faffs around microwaving their porridge like a loser.
Obviously you can change the flavours. You shouldn’t because raspberry and peach are the best, but I would forgive you for trying a banoffee version, or whatever you will. If you didn’t have anywhere to be the next day, you could try it with a whisky and cream mix in place of the yoghurt. Don’t look at me like that! I’m just saying you could, not you should.
Okay fine. You should.