Five Minute Dinner – Kinda Carbonara

This is what I like to think of as Friday night food. You know when you don’t have any plans, and it’s been a long week, and you’re coming home to your partner, and you said you’d get dinner? And you stand in the supermarket and gaze at some leeks and think “I can’t be bothered with you, vegetables. It’s Friday night and I want a mother flipping AWESOME dinner!”. That is what this is for! Pleasingly luxury but on the table in five minutes. Look, I can prove it, I made a video!

But don’t let that put you off… It’s worth doing, honest.

This recipe is loosely based on the Nigella Lawson carbonara. Brilliantly, she suggests that you cook an entire 500g of pasta for two and have a little sex break in the middle of eating to get your appetite back up. I am giving what I consider proper portions. If you find you are hungry afterwards, for any sexy or non-sexy reasons, maybe have a tiramisu.

Serves 2

Half a pack of fresh spaghetti (or if you have more time, 150g-200g dried)
100ml single cream
75g parmesan, finely grated
2 eggs
4 rashers bacon, chopped (the easiest way to do this is with scissors, fyi)
A dash of white wine (100ml??)
Lots of pepper

  1. Drop your spaghetti into a pan of boiling, lightly salted water, consult the packet and set a timer for when it will be done.
  2. Drop your snipped up bacon into a frying pan with oil/frylight in it. Keep a vague eye on this pan – stir it about every so often and don’t let it burn.
  3. While these are all cooking away, mix your eggs, cream and parmesan together in a jug. Consider 75g to be a minimum quantity of cheese to use, and adjust upwards as you see fit.
  4. Grind over far more pepper than you think you need.
  5. When the bacon is done, turn the heat up, chuck in the wine and allow it to bubble down you a delicious bacon wine syrup.
  6. When the pasta and the bacon/wine are ready, combine them in the bacon pan. Stir vigorously, to coat all the pasta in bacony wine. Make sure this is all hot if any element has been sitting about for a bit – two minutes on a high flame with constant stirring will do it.
  7. Take the bacon/wine/pasta off the heat and chuck in the eggy cream mixture. Stir or (better) toss about with tongs until everything is covered in everything else and the cheese has melted.

Serve with love and a bottle of wine that cost £5.50 per bottle rather than £5 because DAMMIT YOU’RE WORTH IT!

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