Dear Ms agent I have been following on social media for so long I know the names of all your pets,
I am writing seeking representation for my first novel, First Novel. First Novel is a work which both transcends the notion of genre, and confirms to it absolutely. In it we follow the story of Lucy, an aspiring writer in her late 20s who is in no way based on me. Lucy wants to find love and solve a compelling mystery. Will she be able todo so, while caring for the ailing sister she was separated from so many years ago? Maybe, if she can find a way to kill all those pesky dragons!
I am confident that First Novel could be a huge commercial and literary success. My mum said, “This book is absolutely fantastic. It will be the next big bestseller for sure!” And my husband agreed. Also, I put up a status saying I’d finished the manuscript, my uni friend who works in publishing liked it.
I am a very good writer. I learnt to write when I was 6, and haven’t stopped ever since! Except for those three years after I finished my degree when I was too down to do anything with my spare time except apply for better employment while sobbing. I am currently working in arts administration, and feel that my life will be forever empty until I realise my lifelong dream of being a novelist. First Novel is my first novel.
I am applying to you specifically because your agency represents that writer I like, and you share a lot of feminist memes on Twitter.
Please represent me. Without your approval my life is worthless 🙁
Ps Say hello to Snuffle and Mr Mittens for me.