10 Thoughts You Have 10 Minutes Before Going On Stage

  1. Wait. Do I need a wee?
  2. No, shhhh, it’s just nerves, you’re fine.
  3. This is terrifying. What if I forget all my words?
  4. What if I don’t forget my words, but it turns out all my words are terrible and everyone hates it and they hate me and I will have failed forever?
  5. This is going to be just like that time Daphne and Celeste played at Leeds festival and everyone threw bottles filled with wee at them until they left the stage. This audience definitely might do that to me if they don’t like my performance poem about toast.
  6. I definitely do need a wee. Do I have time?
  7. No.
  8. Why am I doing this to myself? Why can’t I just have a normal hobby? Like crochet. Or netball?
  9. I used to really hate netball. Perhaps netball has changed? If netball has changed, I’m NEVER doing this to myself again.
  10. Oh no. It’s now. They’re saying my name. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!

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