Presents to Stave Off Regret

You know those obnoxious Facebook updates where everyone lists the year’s triumphs, totally glosses over any low points and throws in a humblebrag at the end so no one can accuse them of being a self important, smug little dick head?

I really want to write one of those. This year has been brilliant for me.

BUT obviously I won’t, because they’re annoying, and also just not true. No matter how amaaaaaaazing all your exciting adventures and work triumphs have been, there’s always someone that you kind of wish you’d skipped an adventure or two and hung out with more. Someone that you love, and want to spend more time with. Do you have a person like this? I think maybe everyone has a person like this.

BUT FEAR NOT. This is EXACTLY the kind of thing you can use Christmas to fix! The following are personal, cheap little presents that ooze love. You will charm the absolute arse off your chosen person and smother them in happiness. Also, you can spend the £20 you normally use to get them a Lush gift set on yourself. BONUS. Select from the following –

1. The Meal
Buy a cookbook that doesn’t look horrible. Choose your favourite recipe. Put a note in that page inviting them over in the new year, and promising to cook them whatever your recipe is. Watch their heart swell before your astonished face.

2. The Map
Buy a map of your town. Annotate it to highlight your favourite places. Slip in a couple of vouchers of your choice – a beer in your favourite pub, a coffee in your favourite cafe… Behold them melt into a puddle of joy.

3. The Night In
For someone you live with/close to but feel like you’ve been too busy to catch up with for a while. Get two pairs of pyjamas (one for them, one for you), a dvd you think they’ll like and a bag of popcorn. Add wine if you like wine, and chocolate if you like chocolate. Discount the pyjamas if you’re working on a budget. Observe their cockles warming.

4. The Stationery
Depending on their temperament, take either a pretty diary, or a pack of notecards, or both. Write on the gift tag that you want to see them more often/write them more letters. BOSH. One spirit comprehensively lifted.

5. The Classic
If all else fails, knit them a scarf. Nothing says “I love you, I miss you, you make my world a better place and I want to drink more cocktails next year” more clearly than a mangled strip of wool.

Merry Advent, friends. Even if I don’t get round to knitting you all scarves, I love you xx

Leave a Reply